gimana kalo...... suatu pagi kamu terbangun dan meragu bahwa apa yang selama ini sudah kamu pilih ternyata kamu merasa itu bukan jalanmu. bukan passionmu. gimana hayo gimana. darimana kamu bisa yakin coba. bingung.

today is a total random day. I woke up with the feeling of holiday since I have no class on monday. tapi bangun pagi di hari senin itu bikin bingung. saya nganggur sepagian tadi yang akhirnya dihabiskan dengan nonton 49 Days. abis itu mati gaya di kosan sampe gak sengaja ketiduran. akhirnya pergi nyari sepatu tapi apa daya inceran saya udah ngga ada. iya, tadi sendirian di mall kayak jomblo emang jomblo padahal tapi seneng sih, soalnya udah lama gak ngerasa sebebas hari ini. karena yang dituju ngga ada akhirnya berniat buat ngomik di perpus kota malang. tapi apalah daya, kecepatan internetnya terlalu menggoda sampe akhinya gak beranjak dari laptop. pasti kalo kamu liat ini, kamu cuma bisa bilang, "udah saya duga."

semua juga capek. but saying those words in front of everyone who actually have the same feeling is just sounds inappropriate to be very honest. ayo sama-sama kesampingkan ego, belajar jadi dewasa.

lagi berusaha mengingat, memanggil lagi memori. dulu apa ya yang suka saya lakukan kalau mood lagi turun-naik gak tau diri. cokelat udah gak mempan. berbincang sama teman pun udah gak ngaruh. bercengkrama sama keluarga jelas hampir gak mungkin sekolah terminal juga gak disini...... jadi, ada sugesti?

I always laugh when I think about how life treats me. Have you ever think about why the heck you have to move far away from home, to the city that you've never been before? meet people that you've never expected, get another family, build your own life........ I did. I do. I'm doing this right now.

sebagian kecil keluarga HMA

Arsitektur UB 2012, brothers&sisters. 

annyeong yeorobun.

been reading this whole blog recently (lol I have no life at all!) and I laughed so hard. so there was those unstable soul while writing how boring my life was, how I felt so alone, how people blocked my dreams. according to the last one, now I think it was me who didn't talk in proper ways about what I want. and from my point of view, I don't think life was boring back then. I've always been in such warm and lovely family and friends.
there was those strong feelings when I talked about someone whom I used to date; the man whom I like the most. we broke up and build our friendship back but sometimes I think he must still hate me. I wish I can heal that heartache of his, to be honest.
there was those stupid-but-sweet kind of friendship on my school life. I used to be in a class consist of girls only for 6 years. and I could do anything with them on class. we read comics, watched movies, slept together, took nap, danced, sang loudly, gossiped, talked randomly, played with make up, took lots of photos, and much more. it was fun and I felt pretty free to have many girl friends.
there was also those stupid times when I fangirling over the pretty Kim Heechul--and yes I even sent a gift for him! now you could call me delusional girl for doing that, hahaha!

but life's changing, honey.
and that's what makes memories precious.

KKM XXXV

friendly reminder, postingan ini gak akan cerita apa itu dan gimana itu KKM secara mendetail. kalo kalian (mungkin, calon maba teknik UB 2013) lebih baik gak usah kepo-kepo banget tentang apa-apa yang terjadi di KKM. percaya sama gue, I did that and totally regret it.

***

kali ini gue cuma mau cerita apa yang menarik dari KKM lewat sudut pandang gue. inti KKM menurut gue adalah pengabdian masyarakat dan pengakraban satu mahasiswa se-teknik. bukan cuma mabanya, tapi seluruh mahasiswa. oh satu lagi, yaitu me-wanita-kan para putri teknik--yang mungkin mulai lupa kodratnya sebagai wanita. 

mungkin awalnya emang kayaknya muuuuuales mau pergi. tapi beneran deh, lo gak akan nyesel ikut kegiatan ini. awalnya gue udah setengah hati mau ikut. tapi dipikir lagi, lapo melok lek mek setengah hati tok? kate dapet opo lek budale ae gak niat? akhirnya dimantapkan hati, toh perginya juga rame. gak akan sendirian, gak akan ditinggal temen.

dan akhirnya gue berangkat.

siapa sangka, di bumi KKM ini bener terasa kepribadian asli dari temen-temen. ada yang tulus, ada yang polos, ada yang maunya mek enak tok, ada yang juahat, ada yang seenak udelnya sendiri, ada yang peduli, ada yang pengin eksis sendiri, ah pokoknya banyak. untungnya temen kelompok gue masuk dalam golongan menyenangkan semua. setidaknya kalo bareng mereka gue gak perlu jaim. rasanya kayak kalo lagi nongkrong sama arek-arek 65 (jurusan arsitektur, red.)

setiap kali ngirim masakan buat yang putra, kelompok gue selalu nyisipin surat. entah itu cerita penting tentang gas yang habis dan air yang menipis, sampai sekadar cerita random tentang tetangga yang menurut kita jahat. absurd memang. apalagi ditambah panggilan papa ganteng dan mama cantik. di malam ke sekian, surat kami dibalas. kepala suratnya beralamatkan: kepada yang termuach, mama cantik. iya kalian muntah dulu aja gak apa-apa kok, gue paham. dan blablabla inti suratnya adalah mereka nitipin tiga liter air untuk kami via panitia, tapi sampai pulang air itu gak pernah sampai ke tangan kami.

gak cuma masak, kami juga menjahit. dan kegiatan itu sukses bikin gue kangen main flanel lagi. terus ada juga yang ngajar di sekolah dasar dan penyuluhan gigi di taman kanak-kanak.

dan kegiatan yang paling ditunggu-tunggu...... evaluasi.

ini yang paling mendebarkan bro. bayangin, dini hari, pas lagi dingin-dinginnya malam, tau-tau ada suara sirine kuenceng, dan teriakan-teriakan macam, "MABA PUTRI BANGUN!" atau "TANGI WOY!!! TANGIII!" jangkrik banget gak tuh. dan dalam keadaan setengah sadar, lo harus nyari ponco dan sepatu. plus periksa kelengkapan macem keplek, sepatu proyek, ikat pinggang, baju proyek, kaos kaki, dan jeans gelap. udah gitu dibariskan. dingin cak! pake banget. terus disuruh lari ke lapangan yang udah disiapin panitia. iye, lari, di atas gunung, di antara ladang warga, minim penerangan, jalanan tanah licin, dini hari. itu juga masih pake diteriakin panitia yang turun ke lahan. biasa, sok galak *dikeplakin mas-mbak panitia*

evaluasi di malam ke sekian. puncak kekacauan. dan apa yang selama ini cuma gue baca dari blog senior, cuma bisa gue bayangin, beneran kejadian langsung di depan mata gue. malam itu suasana memanas. jumlah panitia yang keluar lebih banyak dari biasanya. dan mereka juga lebih ganas dari biasanya. kami disalahin tanpa henti, padahal kesalahan yang disebutin juga banyak yang gak konkrit, tanpa bukti, menurut gue. trus segala macem argumen pembelaann kami dipatahin gitu aja. trus gue gatau apa yang terjadi, tau-tau semua maba berdiri, dan panitia lari-lari. semua teriak dan suasana malam itu bener-bener ribut. kacau. yang berhasil gue liat cuma kepulan debu di bawah sorot lampu. dan yang terdengar adalah teriakan untuk merapatkan barisan, pegang erat temennya, tangisan beberapa maba putri, dan teriakan panitia yang mengingatkan panitia lainnya untuk lari. sumpah ini gak pake lebay ceritanya pek, tapi emang gitu kejadiannya. kemudian yang gue inget, dateng segerombolan 'kakak-kakak' yang lain, bikin barisan mengelilingi maba outri, dan nyuruh kami nunduk.

malam berikutnya, tiga elemen dalam pembinaan teknik (maba, panitia, dan lembaga) dilebur jadi satu lewat api unggun. ini acara paling seru dari KKM XXXV. dimana akhirnya gak ada lagi jarak antara panitia-maba, gak ada lagi panggilan maba, gak ada lagi senioritas.

dan jurusan 65 sukses ngambil hati saya malam itu ;_;

dipeluk mbak-mbak panitia, maaf-maafan. hikseu. bener-bener berasa kalo kami punya kakak. sampai akhirnya pulang ke kampus lagi. dan disambut lagi. ah, saya sayang teknik dan sayang 65.

sueneng rasane pek! pokoke kon kabeh lek gak melok KKM mesti nyesel! :D

belakangan ini suka kepikiran,
pilihan saya ini benar apa belum?
sahabat itu yang kayak gimana?
ke depannya saya mau jadi apa?
saya bakal punya kesempatan ketemu sama mimpi-mimpi saya ngga, ya?
hidup saya ini buat apa?
hidup saya ini mau dibawa kemana?
hidup saya ini buat apa?
tujuan hidup saya itu apa?
hidup saya ini buat apa?

I should have posted this few days ago, but my laziness and blogger connection didn't let me to. so guys, the SNMPTN exams are finally over! aye aye but these are the messiness they left in my room.
and I haven't even tidy em' up yet.

put your hands up, keep your head up. lets pray for the best result ♫♪

:D

Yeorobun annyeong!

postingan kali ini saya sedang berbahagia *hore* setelah dari kemarin kayaknya tapi sebenernya emang iya suram melulu. seperti biasa, dengan konsep bahagia saya, yang sederhana saja.
hasil try out ketiga saya akhirnya keluar dari lingkaran-setan-angka-kisaran-500an. ini bukan ketiga kalinya sih, tepatnya mungkin try out keenam saya. dan akhirnya.............. 25++ soal lagi untuk sampai jurusan impian saya ;_;
memang sih nilai ini fruktuatif, belum stabil, tapi anggap aja sebagi penyemangat. uyeh! temen-temen seperjuangan saya, dimanapun kalian berada, yag lagi baca ini, ayo sama-sama semangat! (҂'̀^'́)9
jadi, mohon doanya ya kawan~ Chairinnisa Zakira Noer Ananda untuk sampai ke jurusan Arsitektur Universitas Gadjah Mada. atau mungkin tiba-tiba ada yang mau mendoakan saya jadi dokter, anyone? ;)

dan setelah UN berakhir, sekarang masih ada ujian lagi. yang mana berarti saya belom bisa nyantai karena masa depannya belom jelas. tiap hari layaknya anak rajin dateng ke bimbel, diterusin belajar kelompok, trus belajar sendiri di rumah. iya, belajar aja terus tiap hari. gak apa-apa bro, belajar juga kan bagian dari hidup.

dan terakhir, saya ngikutin rooftop prince! ayey, lama banget gak mengupdate perkoreadramaan, sekalinya nemu eh dapet yang ceritanya superb. kapan-kapan saya tulis reviewnya, setelah saya selesai nonton.


nah sekian. bbuing bbuing~

Banzaaaai! Tugas berat terakhir on the last year of hi skool!

ganteng sih... tapi lekong bok. #duh #kemudianpening

saya suka bermain peran. apalagi dapet peran yang aneh-aneh, yang gak ada di dunia nyata. misalnya kayak siluman, raksasa. saya juga suka tokoh-tokoh yang rada dorky kayak nenek sihir gitu. dalam peran dunia nyata, saya suka jadi laki-laki. kalian jangan salah kira, saya gak mengidap kelainan suatu apapun kok. tapi bener deh, peran jadi laki-laki itu menyenangkan. mulai dari pendalaman karakter, menggambar wajah pake kumis, jenggot, kadang ditambah jambang. mengubah suara jadi sedikit berat karena suara asli saya ya suara khas perempuan. lalu ditengah waktu latihan saya-tanpa sadar-kembali bicara dengan suara asli saya. saya suka dapet peran yang banyak geraknya. karena kalo diem di atas panggung trus saya jadi suka linglung gitu mau ngapain.
saya paling gak suka kalo disuruh jadi narator, didandani cantik untuk bercerita di depan panggung. menurut saya itu membosankan. saya lebih suka berjelek-jelek ria lalu memainkan peran dengan liar di atas panggung.
saya bukan aktor, saya juga bukan artist. tapi saya suka dunia panggung drama. saya suka kebersamaan semua orang menyiapkan buat pementasan.
saya suka jadi sutradara. jadi scriptwriter juga suka. tapi saya nggak suka bikin dialog. perfeksionisme dalam diri saya bilang kalo saya bikin dialog, nanti jadinya terdengar aneh. tapi dari semua ribet-ribetnya persiapan pementasan, saya paling suka bagian nge-set panggung dan bikin properties.
intinya, saya suka aksi teaterikal, dan saya suka bermain peran. menjadi orang lain, untuk sesaat, itu menyenangkan. nah, kan. saya jadi kangen sama kawan-kawan teater magna .______.


p.s: ini postingan kenapa random banget sih?!

best mate during the hard times!

so I was looking for some things in the supermarket and jokingly said to my sister to buy me some ice cream. I was craving for it. but she said it wasn't okay to buy one cause' she wasn't at good condition to eat it together with me. later she bought me chocolate and said, "you can have this instead. count this as your friend while studying."

life's good. happiness is simple. and I still have many exams to be faced. all iz well. we will pass this all well.

Pick Your Artist: COLDPLAY

Are you male or female: X & Y
Describe yourself: Twisted Logic
How do you feel about yourself: I Ran Away
Describe your current boy/girl relation situation: Shiver
Describe where you currently live: In My Place
If you could go anywhere you wanted to go: Amsterdam
Your favorite form of transportation: Speed of Sound
Your best friend(s) is(are): Brothers & Sisters
Your favorite color is: Yellow
Favorite time of day: Daylight
If your life were a TV show, what would it be called: The Scientist
What is life to you: God Put A Smile Upon Your Face
What is the best advice you have to give: Don't Let It Break Your Heart
Thought for the day: The Hardest Part
How I would like to die: Paradise
My soul’s present condition: Hurts Like Heaven

just a trash from a dirty mind of mine.

yesterday was a bad day, despite the fact that I was having fun at Nihlah's home celebrating her birthday. I woke up at 5.30 with a dizzy head then prepared all the morning stuffs. including open gate for my papa before he off to work. unfortunately, he wasn't on a good mood yesterday and became such cold-hearted person. and it simpy affected my mama's mood. dang! I knew I was on danger.
so as I have planned on the day before yesterday, me and some friends were going to make a suprise for the birthday girl, Nihlah. as always, I asked for mama's permission before I go. she asked me if I bring the motorcycle or no so I said yes. then she started to doubt me again for reasons that I don't think I would get it. geez I am almost 18, I have my own ID card, I have my driving license, I am responsible enough, I am not a kid, and I hate being questioned! knowing that talk to her in such mood wouldn't work so I simply asked my friend if she could pick me up. right before I go mama asked how would I get there. I said I'd be going with my friend. and she yelled at me, saying that I was blahblahblah like blahblahblah. I didn't say any single thing as always. she's my mother and how come I could shout back at her like a dumbass. moreover, I knew I wasn't wrong. it's always been like this and I'm not sure if they realize this or no, but they spread kinda strange atmosphere to the whole house! as their child, honestly I feel disturbed whenever this kind of situation happens. things getting worse once I got home at the evening. mama sarcastically said that I came home too late (which usually she doesn't even care as long as it still under 8pm and yesterday was still 7.30pm) then papa got home after me, still with such mood. family dinner also didn't go well. they were acting biased and not fair to me~ so annoying. then I walked off to my room trying to not overthink about things that happened but then I realize I couldn't talk to anyone. my mood booster wasn't available. things that entertained me were just a letter from my snail-mail friend and friends talks in twitter. but probably I was just too tired so I couldn't hold my tears and they flew until I overslept. I know I seems overly emotional yesterday and for writing this, but this is my way to release my anger. so I won't save any hatred or even revenge in my brain and heart.
thing that also bothered me lately is I dreamed about my grandma last morning. she passed away around 5 years ago. it was just so weird because no matter how bad I miss her, I have never dreamed about her in past 5 years. I cried heavily in my dream. I miss her. but mama said there's no chances for people who already died to come back to this world even just through dream is not possible. but I am still afraid somehow.

okay, lets close this gloomy story with happiness;

once again happy birthday to dearest best friend, sister, partner in crime, fangirling friend, engineer wannabe, Nihlah Chalidah! may you always stay healthy and happy <:-3 I love you sfm! Nihlah jjang! neomu neomu neomu saranghae!

her birthday cake made by me, indah, wardah, enja, and the twins, anisa-asila.

Kawai deshou? #failjapanese

 

Ohayou minna!! Ogenki desuka? daijoubu deeeeeeesu \(^o^)/ so yeah, have just watched Mei-chan no shitsuji and it's a highly recommended dorama! well, I'm being bias here, lol you guys better go search this movie and watch it by yourself because I'm so lazyyy to type the review of this drama in here /slapped.

Eat that, holiday!

Hola, this is the first post of this month. #notsoimportant


I'm officially on the last year of high school now. I'm going to the university next yewr everyyybodeh! and that's kinda make me.... sad, yet happy. actually, I'M NOT EVEN SURE WHAT MAJOR WILL I TAKE IN UNIVERSTY, me confused. I don't know, I hate these kind of feelings TT___TT

and holiday seems..... suck. I stucked in front of laptop almost everyday, playing internet, doing daddy's task, blabbering everywhere, reading fanfics, watching Kdramas (which made me even more pathetic), blablahblah. well, I once leaved home to go to Kawasan Kota Tua in the North Jakarta. and I went there by train! by train, loh pemirsa! finally I know the feeling of using train inside my city ;______; *teary eyes*

so let's just see what I've catched there...

wonderful blue sky as always :3

Nah, that's all. more pics? click my flickr account :B
since I'm not good at closing speech....ah, how come I'm good at openning but can't close it? then I'll just say.......

bbyong!

Dear Me

Dear me in the present, I don't want you to ruin my wonderful life. So I beg you to study smarter and harder than before, because you'll have a lots of exams to be passed smoothly.
Don't die, don't give up. You may be a lil' stress, but remember: you have friends, and they are people that you can trouble and be troubled about. At least but not least, you have to know that, me, or well known as your future, is having a very good life! See you very very soon.

Officially 17.

Annyeong yeorobeun!

long time no open this blog and yea, now I think I gotta change the name of this blog because... NOW I'M NOT 16 ANYMORE! and thats sad. lol~ that's what I called Peterpan-syndrome :P
and about the new name, Shui-chan, it's because I got a crush with a Character named Nakatsu Shuichi in a dorama entitled Hanazakari no Kimitachi. kyahahaaha aren't I pathethic eh?

Yesterday I went to school and got flushed by flour with my classmates! kinda crazy eh -_____-
I got whita all of my clothes, and face, and shoes!! they also gave me bunch of greeting cards, and I know, not all of them wrote it while we have a promise to always do this to everyone on their birthday. but then I think, so what? I'm not their something, I didn't mean much to them, not the special one, or worse, maybe they don't even see me. ha-ha again, I'm being so pathethic.but then who cares with the small number when I actually got more? I have to thank those who found the idea of the flour and birthday surprise, and those who participated, I really really really do appreciate it! I love you guys! and I love surprises! <3


P.s: I'm thinking about making a new blog for fan fiction. I love writing bunch of fanfics! :p