gimana kalo...... suatu pagi kamu terbangun dan meragu bahwa apa yang selama ini sudah kamu pilih ternyata kamu merasa itu bukan jalanmu. bukan passionmu. gimana hayo gimana. darimana kamu bisa yakin coba. bingung.

curhat kala penat.

Alhamdulillah Gusti, di masa-masa gila kayak gini aku sek diparingi sehat lan konco-konco sing peduli. at least merasa kayak punya keluarga lain, kayak punya 'rumah'.

kereta senja tujuan jogja

gelap malam dan terpaan angin,

gerombolan manusia dan keramaian

canda tawa serta gurau,

teringat pada satu ingin,

dia yang selalu dalam angan,

adakah kau bersamaku?

ada yang kosong. ada yang hampa. ada yang sepi.
yang ku takut ini bukan masalah antar dua hati.
yang ku takut ini tentang relasi dengan Ilahi.

didedikasikan terutama untuk keluarga, sahabat lama&baru

ada orang yang biasa menunjukkan rasa sayangnya bukan dengan kata-kata manis. tapi ejekan. ada juga yang menunjukkannya bukan dengan sikap romantis. tapi apa pun jalan yang kau pilih, dia akan setia menemani. ada orang yang gak bisa dipaksa ngungkapin apa yang dia rasa, tapi semua bisa dibaca dari tingkah lakunya. this kind of people does really exist.

belakangan ini suka kepikiran,
pilihan saya ini benar apa belum?
sahabat itu yang kayak gimana?
ke depannya saya mau jadi apa?
saya bakal punya kesempatan ketemu sama mimpi-mimpi saya ngga, ya?
hidup saya ini buat apa?
hidup saya ini mau dibawa kemana?
hidup saya ini buat apa?
tujuan hidup saya itu apa?
hidup saya ini buat apa?

I still find this attracting..

Dear Departement of Architecture.. Y U NO STOP TEASING ME? 

Well, I've been dreaming to be an architect even since I was child. yet few months ago, a teacher of mine told me that I won't be qualified enough to enter this faculty. and guess what, now I believe that it's going to be super hard for me to get into this faculty. crappppp! it's even sadder when I realize that I think with my brain more nowadays.
then I changed my target into Civil Engineering, still at the same faculty and university. kind of similar with architecture, but they make more public places at least it's what I've read on internet it is..... challenging! I gotta prove that.. I can't go study at Architecture, it is fine. Civil Engineering is more fun!
I know they must be thinking whether I can do it nor no, so do I honestly. but without trying, you know nothing, don't you?

P.s: for my best mate, Nihlah Chalidah, semangat!!!! Mian if I sounds rude or annoying. Just as you know, I know exactly what you feel. I'll always support you, nipeu!

Bahkan raksasa jahat pun terharu....

Assalamualaikum!! akhirnya Sukma Jati nya sukses besar! Selamat ya :)
Dan mksh buat waktu liburan yg sering kepake buat latihan. Semangat kalian, perjuangan kita selama ini, pengalaman yg ga akan terlupakan. Rasanya spt habis ee! Rasa mulesnya selesai jg!
Alhamdulillah :) selamat dan sukses untuk kita semua!
Teater Magna Allahuakbar!!

Pesan singkat dari Enja malam itu seolah membangunkanku dari tidur. Rasanya aku baru saja bermimpi tentang perjuangan keras sekelompok anak sekolah, yang dengan menulikan telinganya dari omongan orang-orang-yang-tidak-tau-apa-apa, menggelar sebuah lakon teater yang sangat hebat-untuk-ukuran-orang-awam.

Terima kasih, kalian sudah mengajarkanku apa arti kerja keras, kebersamaan, kekompakkan, kesederhanaan, dan persaudaraan.
Terima kasih, Teater Magna. Terima kasih banyak saudari dan saudaraku! Aduh, lagi-lagi aqueous humour mengeluarkan lebih cairan nih........ bilang aja nangis rin!

  

Dyah, Bundo, Dhiya, Maryam, Isti, Favian, Ferri, Enja, Silmi, Asri, Mute, Sittah, Askar, dan Ncip

you guys are surely the best!!

 The Butos

 Kak Nisa, Kak Kintan, Kak Jupe; I'd thank God I'm alive! Cause' you're just too good to be true :"<

P.s: though this probably would sounds cheesy, but honestly I'll always miss those momments! Me lovey you guys so much, Semagna!!

Min-der.

Halo bot, maaf ya lagi-lagi saya nelentarin kamu. but you can blame my school for made me so effing busy #youknowimlying #soksibukbanget #ditimpuk

BGM: Coldplay - Fix You

Do you know how does it feel when you talk to people but they don't hear you.
Do you know how does it feel when you appreciate people but they don't see you.
Do you know how does it feel when people say that you're their friend but when something bad happen to you, those so-called friends act like ignoring you.
Do you know how does it feel to be considered nothing among people.
Do you know exactly how do these feel

the invincible one,

Chairinnisa

note: feeling so inferior and tired. feel like nothing.

Anggap saja ini lembar pertama

Akhirnya bisa buka blog lagi setelah sekian lama malas menyentuh dunia cyber. Maaf ya bot, sekalinya menyapa kamu malah saya jadi pengennya curhat...
Saya mau bikin perubahan-perubahan kecil yang nantinya (mungkin) berdampak besar buat diri saya. Saya mau jadi orang jujur. Jujur sama nurani, jujur sama hati, jujur sama diri sendiri. Saya capek mendem-mendem masalah sendirian, tapi saya tau diri. Saya bukan tipe ekstrovert walaupun saya sering berkoar-koar dimana-mana. Jadi sekarang saya mutusin buat nyoba untuk curhat sama blog. Bodo amat lah kalo ada orang lain baca, toh namanya juga internet. Lagian, siapa juga yang mau iseng buka blog saya sih?

Jadi kalo kedepannya ada banyak tulisan-tulisan ngaco di blog saya, mohon dimaklumi. Namanya juga remaja, masih labil, haha oke saya pengen banget dibilang muda sih -_- 
Besok saya mau lomba SKJ, apapun yang terjadi saya harus menang! Gamau tau pokoknya kelas saya harus jadi pemenang!

Random : Condition of the bot lately

LAYER 1: ON THE OUTSIDE.
Name: Chairinnisa Zakira
Birth Date: June 17th
Current Location: inside my room
Hair Color: not identified
Righty/Lefty: righty

LAYER 2: ON THE INSIDE.
Your fear: being ignored
Your dream of the perfect date: with someone like Baek Seungjo, oh crap! I must be seems pathetic now

LAYER 3: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW
Your thought first waking up: geez... headache
Your best physical appearance: uhm Idk, but they say I have a good teeth and dimples
Your bed time: above midnite
You most missed memory: I can't remember it now, ugh..

LAYER 4: YOUR PICK
Pepsi or Coke: Fanta
McDonald's or BurgerKing: Mcd's, though I seldom buy it lol
Single or Group Dates: single
Adidas or Nike: I dont care about this
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate fosho!
Cappucinno or Coffee: uh-oh... I drink both, dude!

LAYER 5: DO YOU
Smoke: nope
Cuss: nope
Take shower: not yet, lol
Have a crush: errr.. yes.
Like(d) school: definitely!
Believe in yourself: eh, sometimes no
Believe whatever goes around comes around: yes
Believe everything happens for a reason: yes, even Nickhun said that!
Think you're a health freak: nope

K-drama effect

I want to have this kind of scene in my own story, someday.

Decided my self to stop writting comic, decreasing drawing time. why? its kinda hurt when i hear some people say.... "why don't you try to go to the faculty of Art?"
architechture, art, graphic design, ....Im given up.
I know I have to try to be one of students in the Medical-school.
why?
cause' mom asked me to do that, and i have no choice.

random talk in the morning

she just can't stop smiling all day long
she unconciously does day-dream more and more
she knows that something has just happened to her
but..
she doesn't want to take care
she stands behind the wall she named "I won't care"
her friends told her that she's in love
she can't believe
even when her heart beats faster
she doesn't want to believe
she lies to everyone
she lies to herself
she knows that she was wrong
but still she doesn't want to care.
but who knows,
far away inside the heart,
she hopes.
and she waits.

this supposed to be a lyric, but you know, im not good at music yet not that good at making the lyric.

i know have been being so labile these days, but at least I can prove that Im still a teenager, yeahhhhhh! *throws confetti to myself*

so guys... can you guess.. uhm. forget it. im just too shy to say.

anyway, the result of my mid-test isn't that good. i have 5 subjects which it scores still under the standard, and yeahh that was math, physic, chemistry,biology, and.... computer.

can you imagine that? i spent my holiday by playing with those html words and i got bad score for it subject. phew~ kay calm down, God has the better plan. note to self: don't forget to review physic, math, and espescially chemistryyyyy (yes I haven't made deal with this one)

uhm. its already 5.30 am here, i need to prepare the school things!

buh-bye!